Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
