i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize