Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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