Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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