...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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