I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize