White coat. Heels.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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