If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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