Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
