haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
