Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
