What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
