Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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