you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
