just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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