Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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