toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
