Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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