Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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