no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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