She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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