i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
