Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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