Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize