it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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