we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
