I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
