after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
