Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this boner is exhausting
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
