I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
