from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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