I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did I show you my penis last night?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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