worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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