I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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