Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
