My first STD was from a foam party
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
