he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
