the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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