Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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