after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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