Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
