So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
