Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
