She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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