Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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