is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
