dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
