): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
