i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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