Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
