No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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