so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
