How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I CAN MOONWALK!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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