if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
