It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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