Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
