who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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