He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
