this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
