all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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